How to Communicate Stability to Your Children During Divorce

FizzNiche July 3, 2012 2
How to Communicate Stability to Your Children During Divorce

When your family is struggling through a divorce, there are two important messages we MUST communicate to our children.  Learn what we need to teach our children while going through this difficult time.

Important Messages to Deliver

The two most important things you MUST make sure your kids understand in the wake of the divorce are:

1 – The divorce was in no way their fault. Even if Mom and/or Dad was easily angered, short-tempered, quick to find fault or blow up at the kids in the months prior to the divorce, this was because of the tension between the parents, NOT because the kids were behaving worse, and Dad did NOT move out because of the kids’ behavior.

2 – Even though Mom and Dad may have stopped loving each other, they will NEVER stop loving the kids. The love of a parent for a child, even when the child misbehaves, even when the parent gets angry, is NOT something that can “just go away.” The love of a parent for a child is special. Mom–and Dad–will NEVER stop loving the kids.

Cynthia MacGregor, Author


  1. Sandy Arons July 4, 2012 at 4:51 pm - Reply

    The information you mention here should be mandatory reading for every divorcing parent. Communicating to children throughout the divirce is also helpful. Research has shown that kids typically receive about 15 minutes worth of information during the divorce process. I encourage clients to talk to their children during the divorce process and give them updates: “We are talking with an attorney to work out the legal details”, “We are working with a financial planner to ensure that we can stay in the house”, “I am working with a career counselor to help me decide what new career I should pursue”. If we are scared during divorce, just think how scared our kids are when they have no information about what is going on. Your site has a tremendous amount of information that is very helpful to those experiencing divorce and is on my referral list.

    • admin July 5, 2012 at 1:20 pm - Reply

      Thanks, Sandy! The “updates” are a good way to keep kids informed to prevent their fears from taking hold and interfering with their own lives as they learn to make adjustments.

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