When we’re caught up with emotion, stress and worry – sometimes our gut reaction is to fight back. But, as today’s guest blogger and divorce therapist tells us – our instinct to hold on may be doing more harm than good.
See what she has to say about accepting the fact that you may be headed for a divorce and using level-headed measures for assessing the situation and making the best decisions – instead of turning into a crazed, desperate woman clinging to straws:
Facing Unwanted Divorce: Rule #1
First and most important: Don’t try to hang on!
I know it is counterintuitive. You want to do anything and promise anything to keep him. I’ve been there.
But it doesn’t work! Then you look desperate and needy and NOT attractive. Confidence is the most attractive trait.
So tell him you love him and you would like to try marital therapy where you both like the therapist, but he has to do what he has to do, and you won’t stop him. Then find a therapist you like, and start focusing on finding you, and the good aspects of a new start.
Do not cry and beg him to stay. IT WILL NOT WORK.
Great advice, Arla!
Accepting that the divorce may actually happen doesn’t mean that you can’t take steps to try to save your marriage. But, it does mean that those steps have to be careful, well thought out and mindful of the fact that a divorce is a possibility. Keeping emotions in check and dealing with the business at hand will help you make the right decision for you.