If you’re going through a divorce and are a parent, there are so many things to think about to help minimize any negative effects to your children.
As today’s guest blogger and divorced mom shares, it’s time to make the shift from making decisions and setting “rules” for your children as a team - to determining what you can control.
See what she has to say about accepting that she couldn’t control what happened at Dad’s house, but could still give her children a strong foundation under the roof she did control:
Home and Visiting Dad’s House
To make my children feel loved and secure, I referred to the time sharing as “home” (i.e. where I live) and “Visitation” (where dad and new woman live).
At home:
1) you are loved unconditionally, you can sit and do “nothing”, relax, do your work, play your instrument
2) we do religious observance, we use table manners
3) we have to be concerned about money, we do eat leftovers and we are not in competition to keep up with “the Joneses”.
At visitation, I had no control of what went on, so I just had to enforce the rules at my house.
Good luck!
– Lynn Jawitz, Owner, Florisan
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This is great advice! Thanks, Lynn!
Obsessing about things you can’t control isn’t good for you or your children. So, start by determining what is under your control, identify your rules and communicate them with your children. It will give them and you the stability you need to navigate through the ups and downs following your divorce.
Thank you so much for publishing these tips. I wish that there were communities like this when I was getting divorced. Divorce, especially litigious, contentious divorces are so isolating, and this site is so helpful. Thanks again for being here!
Thank YOU for sharing the tips, Lynn! We agree that there should be a lot more information out there for women – we hope to keep collecting more and more!