Do You Really Want Him if He Doesn’t Want You?

admin April 1, 2012 0
Do You Really Want Him if He Doesn’t Want You?

Have you been searching for ways to win back your husband who has asked for a divorce? Today’s guest blogger has some good points that you should consider before spending more time and energy on saving the marriage that he wants to leave.

Do you really want to be with someone who doesn’t want to be with you?

I speak to women weekly who share this same sentiment with me … “My husband wants a divorce, but I don’t want one. What should I do?”

My advice?

One, make sure you are confident that you have done all you can to save your marriage (that may differ for every couple but may include couples counseling or therapy). Doing all you can to save your marriage will allow you to move forward with confidence that you tried and honestly gave it 100% … no second-guesses, no doubts, no wondering.

Two, if he still insists that he is “done” with the marriage in spite of your efforts to determine what is going on and working to save your marriage, then I ask, “Do you really want to be with someone who doesn’t want to be with you. Don’t you deserve better than that? Would you want your daughter to stay in a situation where she wasn’t loved and cared for?”

Three, ultimately, even if she doesn’t want a divorce, he can still move forward with it. There is no rule that says both parties must agree to it (and in fact, I would venture to say that in most divorce situations, one person wants it, and the other doesn’t). At that point, I advise women to get on-board and become educated about the divorce process (what to expect, how the process works, what their state laws dictate, etc.).

– Monique Honaman, Author, The High Road Has Less Traffic: honest advice on the path through love and divorce

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Though the pain of not being “wanted” can seem unbearable, we think that Monique has a great point – why would you stay in that relationship, the one where you’re not “wanted”, appreciated and receiving the love you really deserve?

 


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