5 Things To Do When He Wants a Divorce but You Don’t

FizzNiche March 29, 2012 0
5 Things To Do When He Wants a Divorce but You Don’t

Though your initial reaction may be “No!”, the reality is that a divorce may be in your future if he wants one. You can work to try to save your marriage, but you also need to take some time to consider your emotional and financial future in the case that the divorce does happen.

Today’s guest blogger is a divorce attorney who has over 30 years under her belt. See the 5 things she recommends that you do now that you know that he wants a divorce:

Think and Plan – Slowly if You Can

Based upon my 30 years’ experience as a divorce attorney, I can say that there are few things in life worse than having your world rocked by a husband announce out of the blue that he wants a divorce. The impact on one’s self esteem from perceiving oneself as a rejected spouse is considerable. And, in addition to the self-esteem issues, issues pertaining to the fear of the unknown with respect to child custody and the financial future are very, very real.

So, what tips do I have for women who don’t want a divorce?

1. Make sure you have a good emotional support system. Surround yourself with friends and family who can provide love and assurance.

2. Consider either one on one therapy or a divorce support group. If you can afford it, it may be smart to be involved in both.

3. Determine whether you have a true legal emergency. How do you do this? Consult with an attorney to find out if there is anything proactive you need to do immediately. It may sound counter intuitive, but many couples in the beginning stages of a divorce don’t have legal emergencies requiring immediate action. If this is true for you, then consider whether you and your husband can sit down and discuss how you will begin the divorce process. Are you candidates for a mediated divorce? A collaborative divorce?

4. Might you and your husband want a trial separation where you live separately but keep pooling your incomes? A cooling off period may allow both of you to have more perspective on what is happening.

5. Don’t make any hasty decisions. Remember divorce is one of the largest decisions and transactions in which you will ever engage. Acting rashly is generally never a good thing.

— Michele Sacks Lowenstein, Certified Family Law Specialist, Lowenstein Brown


These steps are great advice. Whether or not a divorce is the actual end result of the situation you’re in now, you’ll be prepared to deal with your future both emotionally and financially.


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